i guess that is the right word for it. i’m frustrated and it has lasted for quite some time. not a whim, but a habit, a constant existence of a feeling that will not leave. it is like a pressure literally around all surfaces of my brain causing my spine to curve over in weakness. i need to find answers. or find the right questions. i need time, i need the woods, i need solitude. i need to strengthen my mind in order to prepare for the battle ahead. i don’t know whether the goal is to be mentally healthy or just to get the pressure out of my mind. i want to be rid of a cliche theories of life and form my own trail. i want to run as far as i can until i run out of breath and collapse. i want to find the most efficient way to make an impact. to matter. do i matter?
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